I am

I am a wife, and

I know Ryan LOVES me.

I am a Mom, and

I know I mean the WORLD to my babies, and

I am in possession of some of the BEST friends in the world,

but

something happened the other night that got me thinking about

who I am.

or better

what attracts people to me?

and why?

I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN:

I showered often

I shaved each shower

I spent hours getting ready

*make-up

*hair

I paired up trendy cute outfits (are they even still called that?)

I had a cute little body that looked cute in those outfits.

I knew good music, and

I went to awesome shows.

I was goofy, and wild.

I made people laugh.

I was adventurous and spontaneous, and

I came up with fun new stuff to do all the time.

I was easy and fun to talk to.

*or so I was told.

NOW,

I hardly ever change out of my sweats.

I'm usually covered in spit up (even if you can't see it, you can smell it")

I am lucky if I get 3 showers in any given week.

I LOVE going to the gym, but don't have the body to prove it.

I am a good Mom,

I am a good cook, but

I am a lousy housekeeper.

I am lazy.

I am such a planner, that if things don't work out perfectly then

I scratch my plans and stay home.

I am boring.

I love my babies, and

I talk about them . . . a lot.

I think they are practically ALL I talk about.

I am sorry for boring you, with my baby stories.

I seem to have lost myself.

WHY HAVE I LET MYSELF BECOME THIS?

This is NOT who I AM.

Who I REALLY AM.

I am a strong, beautiful, sexy woman.

*and from now on I am going to look it.

*no more air dried frizzy hair,

*no more stained or dirty sweats and t-shirts

*no more saying

"I don't need to get dressed up/wear make-up/do my hair today,

because I am not going anywhere."

I will do it everyday (or at least most) for ME, and no one else.

I will do it, so

I feel good, so

I feel like the strong, beautiful, sexy woman that

I am.

I am more than a Mom and a wife.

I will take care of my babies.

I will teach, nurture, and love them all day, but

I will also MAKE time for myself.

I will read more books,

I will do all the projects that

I have been excited about doing for the last few months, but

I "haven't had the time" to do.

I am going to spend more time working on the things that

I am passionate about.

I am going to go out on more dates with Ryan.

I am so in love with him, and

I want to see him,

I want to be with him.

I am going to be more active.

I LOVE being outside, and

I have let this silly Michigan winter take that away from me, but

I am done, and

I am going outside to play.

I am going to get to know my girlfriends better, and

I am going to make more of them.

I am going to have more "girls' night outs" or "girls' night ins".

I am counting on you Lansing ladies to help me with this.

I am going to talk/Skype more with my besties.

I miss them and want to see them more.

I am going to find myself again.

I miss being me.

I will be me again.

I will be a Mom

I will be a wife

I will be a homemaker

I will be a hairstylist

I will be a member of my Church

I will simply be ME, for ME.

I know this sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but it is what

I need.

Who are YOU?

What do YOU need?

Have YOU lost Yourself?

Why?